you caught me lingering

So, Tony Abbott is now Leader of the Liberal Party and Opposition Leader. My heart is currently sitting in my stomach, and though I joked about it today, I'm not actually that far off stockpiling birth control and asking my GP for a referral to a Gynaecologist to at least talk about getting my tubes tied.

Even aside from all of that, even if more of me believed that Tony Abbott being voted PM wasn't a possibility (Because Holy Fucking Shit, the country continued to elect Howard for HOW FUCKING LONG?), I don't actually think that makes me feel at all better.

I think I've mentioned before that pretty much my entire political awareness (which started pretty early) has been of a Liberal Party that despises my very existence as a queer woman of colour. I cannot envisage a future where I would ever feel comfortable voting for the Liberals. And normally I would insert the obligatory "Yes, I'm well aware the ALP is doing some heinous crap", but I'm not going to do that here, because that's actually a big part of my problem, and why "Abbott won't get elected" doesn't console me.

Because despite my aforementioned fear (and it is actually fear, because I'm not sure how else to respond to their level of hatred, at this point in my life) for the Liberal Party, I'm able to acknowledge that Malcolm Turnbull is one of the more moderate Liberals of the last couple of decades. Tony Abbott makes John Howard look tame. He drags the conversation further to the right than it's been for a while; which has already been too far to the right for my liking, and too far into the realms of hatred, bigotry, and supportive of long-standing societal inequalities. He has great potential to give Kevin Rudd, who is not a bastion of the left by ANY stretch of the imagination, to shift the ALP closer and closer to the right; which, given we've not really moved much to the left since Howard left office, is hardly a comfort.

And this is it. The conversation, and where it is, makes my heart sit in my stomach.

(Hi. Am still alive.)

I don't even know where to start with the latest Australian asylum seeker saga. I've only seen what's drifted across my attention; the idea of actually looking into the details of what's going on fill me with too much dread - I don't need more than what I've seen so far to leave me depressed.

Malcolm Turnbull is talking about TPVs (Temporary Protection Visas) and bringing them back - a move which is prompting a less than favourable reaction even within his own Party, given there was a small group of Liberal MPs who grew a conscience about the issue back when Howard was still in charge.

The politicians love to talk about this as a "people smuggling" and "border protection" and "national security" issue. They can kindly fuck off. The small number of asylum seekers arriving here by boat is miniscule compared to whitefolks overstaying tourist visas and staying in the country illegally, but unsurprisingly, Parliament isn't all a fluster about that (rather like how US rightwingers only seem to be concerned about the southern US border - it's almost like there's no border to the North, the way they carry on). "Boat People" (don't even get me started on how disgusting I find that term) aren't the boogeyman. The terrorists we're supposed to be terrified of - the ones who've actually blown shit up? They arrived on fucking first class flights. With visas.

And lest someone accuse me of only being mean to the Liberal Party (because I'm so hung up on that, donchaknow); I'm completely fucking boggled as to how this whole debacle turned into "Kevin Rudd is welcoming boat people" - I'm not seeing any fucking welcoming. I'm seeing some weird-ass shit about our government being right asshats to these people and then turning around and being hypocritical fucks at Indonesia - wtf is with Julia Gillard trying to lecture the Indonesion authorities about their "moral responsibility" when we've patently fucking ignored ours? I've not heard anything so ridiculous in a while.

*sigh* This racist shit back when Howard was doing it was a massive fucking contributor to my not feeling safe in the damn country I was born in. And before someone tries to be all condescending and tell me all about how I should've expected this - I did; expecting this shit doesn't make it magically not fucking depressing.

stephendann has let me borrow his EeePC whilst he attempts to wrestle with his laptop and 3 mobile broadband, so I has internoodles!

Firstly, haapy birthday to littlenell, hope you spend the day rested up, because you deserve it and stuff. *hugs*

Secondly, tomorrow I get to hang out with sharpest_rose and _audrey and other folks who are awesome. \o/

Sunday I fly back to Canberra. I must admit, going back to work is really not appealing right now. Maybe it's just the aftermath of this cold-thing, but I really want to just ... I dunno, immerse myself in a whole lot of things I've not done before and perhaps maybe find something I really want to be doing. Because I really have no idea, and I'm starting to get to that panic-emo-thing of "what if I don't actually find something I love to do?" which is so very first-world-problem of me, but, well, there it is anyway. I just know that I really need to stop getting back into this industry, because whilst the money is good and I can obviously do it well-enough, it's once again reaching that stage of "This is the thing I DON'T want to do."

Also, I really don't want to live in Canberra for much longer. I certainly don't want to do another Canberra winter.

Though in awesome-things, minna is braving the Canberra cold and visiting me in August \o/\o/\o/\o/\o/ ::dances:: You're all jealous, don't even front. :P

And now, off to the 3 store to do more battles with wireless broadband internoodles.

Melbournians! I am here!

karenhealey has evilly led me into a jen-trap, otherwise known as the state library. Thankfully it has internoodles so I can annoy all of you.

stephendann is off doing conference-y things, so I am highly in favour of folks jen-napping me, though I do think jen-traps are a little unnecessary. I am frail and sickly, y'know (i.e. I am getting over a cold, cannot talk very much and occasionally cough up a lung. Though I believe I am no longer contagious, which is good.)

Things I be wanting to do this week:
[ ] See the Dali exhibit at NGV.
[ ] Catch up with various folks, including Mary, Audz, Nae, Vanessa and Karen - partially achieved via coffee with Karen (see aforementioned jen-trapping).
[ ] Possibly see the new Harry Potter if other Melb folks are going.
[ ] Do some shopping. I need new jeans, and perhaps even new shoes.

For now, I shall remain terribly trapped in the library. It is oh so terrible. Really.

EDIT: Also, you should all know that I know have a really crappy hand-drawn map of the Melbourne CBD street-grid in the back of my John Birmingham book (which incidentally, isn't all that interesting so far consider it's about most of the US vanishing into a weird energy thing. And now I shall attempt to escape the library.

Unscheduled, Would Like To Do:
Catch up with fire_fly - It's looking like this afterevening or dinner Sunday, if you're free.


Friday:
[ X ] Up at 4am for stupid early flight. Urgh.
[ X ] Arrive in Sydney. Find breakfast.
[ X ] Attend all day training course which was original purpose of trip.
[ X ] Go to the Apple Store and get a wall charger for the iPod. The Apple Store freaks me out. Just sayin'.
[ X ] Check in to Sydney Hilton. I'm on the 40th Floor. wtf that's kinda high. Still, the views are gorgeous. I wish I'd known beforehand there's a DVD player in my room.
[ X ] Order Room Service, Have a Bath, Lounge Around the hotel room.
[ X ] Sleep


Saturday:
[ X ] Haircut at the Salon downstairs from the hotel. I got more obvious layering and texture than I've been used to lately. It's straightened at the moment, let's see how I like it when it's in it's natural state.
[ X ] Go Bra Shopping. I had to call stephendann to get the address because I forgot where it was, but I have new bras - hooray! I really do wish my bras didn't cost over a hundred bucks each, though. I miss having a cup size that allowed for cheap bras. Granted I was a teenager, but still.
[ ] Lunch with neaf and queenofbimbania in Chinatown (Yay! Yum Cha!).
[ ] Go to Lush($tephen is almost out of coffee shower gel).
[ ] Dinner somewhere in town. We'll see what I feel like this evening.
[ ] Star Trek, Maybe? Perhaps before dinner, depending on stuff.


Sunday:
[ ] Brunch with chatondesse in Newtown
[ ] 4pm Scrub and Massage Spa Thingy in the Hotel Spa. Over 2 hours of pampering, apparently. W00t.


Monday:
[ ] Pack and check out of hotel.
[ ] 11am Hoydenizen Gathering at Circular Quay (OMG Guylian Cafe. Why had no one told me of this paradise previously?)
[ ] 3pm-ish: Get ass to airport, along with rest of me.
[ ] Fly back to Canberra.
The End.

Off to Sydney tomorrow. Plans so far are as follows:

Unscheduled, Would Like To Do:
See Star Trek Again.
Go Bra Shopping (hooray for towns with stores that carry larger bra sizes).
Go to Lush($tephen is almost out of coffee shower gel)

Friday:
Up at 4am for stupid early flight. Urgh.
Arrive in Sydney. Find breakfast.
Attend all day training course which was original purpose of trip.
Go to the Apple Store and get a wall charger for the iPod.
Check in to Sydney Hilton.
6pm-ish: Find somewhere to have dinner and drink some.
Sleep

Saturday:
Attempt to book a massage at the hotel spa thingy. Probably for Sunday.
Probably lunch with neaf and queenofbimbania
Free Afternoon/Evening: catondesse? fire_fly? Bueller? Anyone?

Sunday:
Hopefully, massage.
Possibly Hoydenizen Gathering -tigtog, let me know when and where (otherwise Monday), otherwise free.

Monday:
Pack and check out of hotel.
Possibly Hoydenizen Gathering, otherwise free.
3pm-ish: Get ass to airport, along with rest of me.
Get home.
The end.

Anyone I've missed who wants to catch up, let me know. I'll be getting e-mails(thus lj comments) if you don't have my mobile number. Twitter @replies and DMs will also be accessible.

I shall be in Ye Olde Sydney Towne over the long weekend (ie, next weekend).

I'm in town on Friday for a work training thing, and shall be thereafter staying at the Sydney Hilton until Monday afternoon.

tigtog, did you still want to arrange a Gathering of Hoydens? Cos I'd totally be up for that.

neaf, chatondesse and anyone else who wants to do another viewing of Star Trek, I'm up for that, too.

Folks who just want to to catch up or have other suggestions, if there's other stuff going on, let me know. :)

Am sitting in Cream Cafe in Canberra City, having treated myself to dinner out because I had a productive day. Cream also has free wifi, which is awesome because it means I can post from my iPod Touch, which I got for the lovely price of nothing, thanks to getting through the work rewards program.

I was going to wait until next week to start back full-time, but I've had a good couple of days, and am feeling like I'm starting to get back into the swing of things. Of course I have a review with another Client of Doom soon, so that could change. :P

And now, I have mud cake. So ner. :)

I HAVE A ROOMBA. IT IS AWESOME.

Click on the photo to see more photos, including photos of stephendann meeting the Roomba.

DW is now on open beta. Those who have asked for invite codes, I have sent them. Anyone who hasn't, I suggest you give me an e-mail address at this post (comments are screened). First in, yadda yadda.

Also, I'm jennifergearing for anyone who's joined since open beta and wants to add me.

Also: It's Free Comic Book Day. W00tage.

So, I have a dreamwidth account. I'm jennifergearing over there, too. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with it yet; I know quite a few folk are keen to stick around on LJ, so there'll prolly be some sticking around to keep in touch with those folks. Once I work out what I'm doing, I'll prolly ask for some input as to how much to link the two journals, depending on whether I'm using them for different purposes, etc.

Also, the DW folks are keen to keep invite codes running for a while to ensure the site doesn't grow faster than they can keep up with, which I think is pretty reasonable and awesome. As I get invite codes, I'm happy to pass them on as folks would like them. I'll go on a first-come-first-served basis, so comment below with an e-mail address (comments are screened) - don't worry if you get one elsewhere, just let me know when I e-mail you and I'll move down the list. :)

( Cut for Spoilers )

$ came home this evening with Guitar Hero for the PC.

It be quite fun. Though I seem to have some kind of entrapped nerve in my arm/wrist because my little finger is all tingly-numb, though I can still move it okay. Might try and get myself some anti-inflammatory stuff tomorrow.

Via @amber_benson on twitter, and google for the link.

Andy Hallett, known for playing Lorne on Joss Whedon's Angel, has died of heart failure at age 33.

Hi, intarwebs!

I've realised that my media consumption has dwindled in the last little while, partly because I've been burying myself in work. Since I have some time off, and am trying to dedicate a bit more time to me-not-at-work, I have a request for y'all.

Recommend me something in the comments! Whether it be a book I should read, a blog/LJ I should be reading, a show I should be watching, a band I should be listening to, anything you think is peachykeen and awesome that you think I would also find peachykeen and awesome - hell, even if you're not sure if I would, rec it anyway, chances are someone about will find it useful if I don't.

And ... go!

Thought I'd return to the age-old practice of throwing links together and share some stuff I've been reading.

Ideologically Impure compiles a list of the folks who have so far contributed to the Down Under Feminists' Carnival. Not comprehensive, but a great starting place for folks looking for Aus/NZ womanists/feminists.

Melissa at Shakesville marvels at the fact that folks expect girls to be magically resistant to Patriarchy, whilst expecting boys will be entrenched in its socialisation processes. It's damaging to all involved, really.

Rebecca Solnit shares the experience many women have; The 'Men Explain Things to Me' phenomenon.

I already linked this on twitter, but this is one of the most OMGYES things I read that came out of RaceFail: yuki_onna talks about why representation matters - it's because stories teach us how to survive.

Speaking of stories teaching us to survive, I read Growing Up Asian in Australia recently, which is fantastic, and I really wish it was around when I was growing up (which, incidentally, is what editor Alice Pung wished once she finished compling it). So many diverse voices from East and South Asia, snippets of moments that caused me to go oh, lordy, yes, that's totally my life, but also a myriad of moments in other lives that were all easy, difficult, ugly, and beautiful in their own ways. But that's not the main thing I wanted to share. What I discovered, through one of the contributors to the book being an editor, was Peril: An Asian-Australian Arts and Culture online zine..

Perhaps timely, for me, in light of recent events; Guest Poster J at Shakesville shares her personal story of depression and mental illness.

BONUS LINK: Not for those who really dislike twitter, but this? Totally hypnotic.

And now, breakfast!

So, I've been using Twitter for a while now, largely because I haven't been good with long posts of late and 140chars at once is about as much as I can handle most days at the moment, which given recent brainsplosions makes much more sense.

For a few reasons, I have some time off work at the moment, and whilst working on my brain I would like to try and talk about that more. For those not friended, I'm sorry, but most of it will be flocked, but given the subject matter it's also likely to be emo so you won't be missing anything earth-shattering.

That said, given my lack of use, LoudTwitter has been useful if nothing else then as a bit of a marker to let folks know I'm still alive. Perhaps as a bit of a motivator to get me back to LJ more, I'm thinking about turning of the twitter-import for a while.

The question (don't say I don't do crazy democratic experiments!) is, is there anyone who is particularly attached to reading my short bursts of inanity and one-sided conversations here? Speak now or forever hold your peace, etc. etc.

I'd poll, but I can't on this account anymore, and don't really want to give LJ money, so comments will have to do.

( Yesterday in short form )

( Yesterday in short form )

( Yesterday in short form )